Haven't heard from my hubby in 2 days

It's now Monday morning, 7:25 am. The last time I heard a word from Mike was Friday afternoon around 1:30 pm... I've tried to call him all weekend and had to leave voice mails because there's been no answer!

I'm really starting to worry. It is not normal for him to leave me hanging this long... I don't even know what state my husband is in! The only thing I can think of is that he must be in a "dead" area... or that he's lying dead on the side of the highway somewhere. Man, I just need him to call me.

I sent him a text message late last night, and I still have not heard back. If he was moving around, he should have gotten the message by now and replied. Maybe he's parked in a spot where there's no phone signal.

If I haven't heard from him by 8:30 this morning, I'm calling dispatch. I need to know that he's alive!!

I don't understand why it's ok to just let me worry. And HE is the one with the ulcers. You would think my stomach would be eaten up with them! Ugh.


UPDATE:
He finally called me about 9:10 am, and he's ok. His phone is not working correctly, so he didn't know he was getting phone calls. The company called another guy's cell phone (who he was with) to get in touch with him!

He did get the text though, so he has no excuse for not answering that! :( So I'm trying not to be angry with him right now!!

Sunday night dinner after church

I really love Sundays... they're generally pretty relaxing.

Tonight after church we had dinner in the fellowship hall of our church to raise money for the youth group. We sat at a table with my parents and some other people I really love! Miss Teresa sat on the other side of Jenna from me... She made sure that Jenna had bread and butter (a whole little container, lol!) and a baked potato and chicken and ribs... and she shared her strawberry pie with her, too. I think Miss Teresa will make a really good grandma someday. :)

I just love the people in our church. They're all so much like family.

Jenna's choice of breakfast

This morning I asked the kids what they wanted for breakfast, and they both said they weren't hungry yet.

A few minutes later, I walk into the kitchen. The box of frozen waffles is sitting on the floor; they are half thawed. And Jenna is sitting at the table with a cold hot dog in her hand, munching away.

Oh, my. What a lovely breakfast, my dear... I decided to just put away the waffles and fix her a cup of chocolate milk!

Hmmm... maybe I should look into putting some sort of locking device on the fridge.

Looking forward to spring break

This week has been pretty good... The weather has been great these past few days, and we have spent a lot of time in the back yard. The kids have been able to get out and run, swing and slide!

Finally the sun is shining, and I think it's lifted my mood a bit... I don't feel as grumpy as I've been feeling. I had gotten to a point where I felt like I could tear something up, and I don't like feeling that way!

I am glad for spring break next week, as I could use a little break from getting up at 6 am to be sure Delaney and I are both ready for the day... and I could also use a break from babysitting. It's nice to get a week "off" to relax! So relax is what we plan to do most. We might do a movie one day. Maybe lunch out someplace fun... We'll just have to see what the budget allows.

I really hope to buy both of the girls something new for Easter next week... Hopefully we'll be able to spend a little time shopping, even though we don't have an over-abundance of money to spend. Right now I'm just grateful that we have enough to keep the electricity on and all of us fed. I feel like I'm learning as I go... :)

Mommy said no!

Jenna (who will be 3 next month) brought me a bag of chips just now. "Open these! I want one! Plleeeeeeezzzeeee!"

Well, I don't think we're going to have chips for breakfast! I told her no.

She got upset. She jumped up & down one time and said to me, "I want one! You can't tell me no!"

Excuse me? I'm trying not to laugh as I say to her, "Well, I said no. And when mommy says no, that's the end of it!"

Delaney (in her 7 1/2 years of knowledge) pipes in with, "Yeah, Jenna. You're not going to win against Mommy, so you might as well just give up! She won't change her mind after she already said no."

HA! At least one of them gets it.

Surrender--what does it mean?

This past month has been hard on me... First, I had Jenna to the doctor twice and spent $300 on doctor office visits and prescriptions! This week, I had Delaney at home for two days with a stomach bug.

All the while, we're still feeling the extreme financial stress. I have feared losing our house for several months.

Last Sunday night, I went to the altar to have some of our prayer team pray over Jenna for healing of her skin infection. They annointed her forehead with oil and layed hands on her and prayed for healing in her body. When she was finished, she decided it would be fun to run up and down the aisles of the sanctuary, lol... But the ladies who had prayed for Jenna started to pray for me. I heard diffeent prayers from different ones--one saying she sensed how tired I was, and asked for rest. Another smiled big at me and whispered in my ear, "The Lord gave me a word for you. It's one word. The word is 'surrender'."

Surrender. What does that word really mean? I picture myself waving a white flag.

I looked up the meaning of the word... here is what dictionary.com says:

sur·ren·der
–verb (used with object)
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police.
3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.
4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).
5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another. –verb (used without object)
6. to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield. –noun
7. the act or an instance of surrendering.
8. Insurance. the voluntary abandonment of a life-insurance policy by the owner for any of its nonforfeiture values.
9. the deed by which a legal surrendering is made.

Synonyms for the word "surrender" include the following:

abandonment, abdication, acquiescence, appeasement, capitulation, cessation, dedition, delivery, giving way, relenting, relinquishment, renunciation, resignation, submission, succumbing, white flag*, yielding

I have a feeling that this "surrender" has everything to do with the circumstances in my life right now. I am dependent on Mike to bring home our income. I constantly fight worrying about him, his job, the truck, our kids, our house, how we will make our next month's payments, and on and on... I can let myself become very stressed over all of these things in a matter of minutes.

I have a feeling that this "surrender" is supposed to be me turning over everything to God. I am supposed to give it all to Him. Put it all in His hands. I am to trust Him. Trust. That's a big thing for me because I don't just trust. I am stepping out on the water, but I don't feel like I have the faith that Peter did when he stepped out of that boat. He had his eyes on Jesus. He had complete faith and trust in Him. I allow my eyes to become so focused on so many things--things that are not Jesus--that I forget to trust Him.

Lord, I pray that you will help me to learn to put my complete trust in you. Help me to let go of the other things I put my focus on so that I may focus on You alone. I believe that you want to help me. I believe that you want to bless me, as in my dream. I believe Your Word says that you have a plan for me, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me. You have promised me in Your Word that you would never leave me or forsake me. You promised to take care of all of my needs according to Your riches in Glory in Christ Jesus! Father, help me now to stand on those promises and to believe them with all my heart. Help me to keep my eye on the "prize" that is Heaven--not the things of this earth! For I know that the earth will pass away, but I will soon live in glory with you forever in Heaven! Thank you for your promises, Lord. Father, I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made in the past. Please help me to learn from them and not to repeat them. Bind my mind to the mind of Christ so that I might have knowledge to do Your will. Bind my tongue to Your tongue so that I might speak the right words. Lord, I surrender to Your will for my life. I give you my worries. I give you all my concerns. Father, you know my needs. You know them better than I do. I believe that You will take care of my needs! I put my trust in You alone, Lord. I give you praise and glory, for you are the Creator of all things, you are the all-knowing God, and you alone are my strength. My hope is in You all day long! Thank you, Lord! In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Almost $240 (and more to come!) and 2 doctor visits later

I found out today that Jenna has folliculitis. That's what the "rash" is all over her bottom. Poor baby has suffered with it for weeks! It would look like it was drying up, then come back again with a vengeance. She would tell me not to touch her "boo boo" because it hurt. The bumps would get stiff and even look bright red, purple, or be filled with pus! It was nasty!

Last week we were in the doctor's office for a fever & sore throat (I thought it was her ears)... and I showed it to the dr then, but it looked dried up... so we thought it was fine.

This morning, it looked really bad. So I called the doctor. The doctor we usually see was not in today, so we saw a different one & I liked him a lot. I may ask for him next time!

Anyhow... he said it is folliculitis, which I guess it infected hair follicles if I understand correctly. He prescribed a strong oral antibiotic, plus an antibiotic cream that we're ALL supposed to swab inside our nostrils because that's how it spreads!

Since we don't have any type of health insurance, the dr visit was $85 (last week's dr visit w/a strep test was $115)... the oral antibiotic was $35... and we have not filled the prescription for the cream yet b/c it's $99!! The pharmacist is going to call the dr tomorrow to see if we can get ointment instead of cream b/c it is HALF the price. Then we'll get that, too... so the cost of all of this will be nearly $300 when it's all said and done! Insanity, I tell ya!! (Ugh! It's no darn wonder we're so broke!) Maybe that's the kick in the rear I needed to apply for ARKids First... I guess I'll give it a try.

After reading about folliculitis online, I really wonder if she got it so easily because she tends to break out with eczema. The doctor said that someone in our house is probably a "carrier" for it. Delaney had a spot on her leg several weeks ago that started it all, so I have to wonder where this all started. Mike drags in all kinds of stuff on his clothes and boots since he's out hauling livestock... so there is no telling where it really started.

So... that's what we've been dealing with all this time. I'm glad we finally have an answer as to what it is, and I will be so glad when my poor baby is finally over this!

The note inside my refrigerator that made my day

Have you ever just had one of those days? Well, last week I had one of those days... all week long!

ByFriday night, I'd had more than I could take. I got the girls ready, told them to get in the car, and we all went to Cracker Barrel! I needed out of the house so bad I'd have probably been happy to go to McDonald's. LOL!

After Cracker Barrel, we went to Kohls. All we did in there was use the bathroom and chase Jenna! So we left for Target, where I strapped Jenna in a shopping cart! LOL! We didn't really even buy anything, but we looked at shoes and pretty dresses and Easter baskets... it just felt good to see signs of SPRING!!

My poor husband had been listening to me all week. He could tell I was really down!! He had listened to me whine and been pretty patient with me... On Saturday night he told me that he really appreciated what I was doing to try and help out (I've taken on babysitting two kids to try and relieve our financial stress, which I sometimes feel is more stressful than working at a "real" job!).

At about 4:15 am on Sunday morning, the phone rang. It was Mike, and he was trying to get in the door through the garage. I had to go let him in... he was home just long enough to take a shower and head to where he was picking up a load of cows.

When I got up at 7 am, I noticed a black handprint on the handle of the refrigerator, and I almost got upset! I started to scrub it off, and opened up the fridge for some milk to put in my coffee... I saw two cans of Dr Pepper (which is like a little stess relief in a can for me, lol)... between them was a note on a little yellow piece of paper that said, "I love you... Mike".

How sweet! It really made my day. So much that I took a picture of the inside of my refrigerator!

Funny how two cans of pop and a little yellow piece of paper really made my whole day better. ;-)

THIS is the man I married. I haven't seen this part of him in a long time... and I really needed to see that in him again.

I'm sooo ready for spring!

There's talk in the weather forecast that we'll get snow and/or ice today and tonight. I don't want snow and ice. I need sunshine!

I need out of this house so bad... All I can do the last couple of days is cry. Winter is always so hard on me, but it's especially hard when Mike doesn't have enough work to do, but he's still gone all the time... we're so behind on our bills. I feel like I just worry! I've noticed that I'm getting frown lines and white hairs. I'm too young for that stuff! My husband actually told me to go get some hair color. Well then! That made me feel all wonderful and happy inside, dontcha know... We can't afford hair color anyhow!

I've not blogged in over a week... mainly because I can't seem to find a happy thought. Everything feels crappy and gray right now.

I have a history of depression... I sooo don't want to go there. I don't want to take those meds again. Is it too much to ask that I just feel happy!? Ugh!

It would be so nice to have another adult in the house. I could really use just an hour to myself, but I can't seem get away from children in this house. They follow me wherever I go, and they're only making me grumpy with their whining and arguing. Of course, I don't know that I really want to go out in public right now. There is so much sickness everywhere, and I sure don't want to catch anything! But it's so depressing, being cooped up in the house all the time... I don't know how much more of this I can handle... Lord, please help me to get past this funk I'm in!

Why I do not like Valentine's Day

I dislike Valentine's Day. No, I hate it! There are many reasons I dislike Valentine's Day so much, and every single one of them has something to do with my husband.

Before we got married, he gave me gifts for Valentine's Day. Before we were married, he also gave gifts for my birthday and Christmas, but now I'm getting off the subject. It seems as if the marriage license has afforded him a reason to stop giving any kind of gifts altogether. He never gives me ANYTHING. Never. And I hate it. I need so much more attention than this man gives me! He KNOWS this. Why won't he change it? I don't know. I don't think I'd even know how to react anymore if he brought me a gift. I really don't!

I hear some women say, "Oh, I don't need a gift. My husband does things and gives me things all the time, so why would I expect something on a certain day?" Well... that's not my husband either. He just does not give anything. Ever. He does not give gifts, and he does not like to get them. Obviously "gifts" is NOT his love language! Sometimes I think his love language must be complete ignorance. Ok, so I know that is not one of the love languages... Maybe I should write a book of my own about love. Or maybe I need to whack him over the head with a book. Nah, it probably wouldn't help.

I get so tired of listening to other women say, "Oh! My hubby is so sweet! He sent me (flowers, candy, etc) or took me wherever".... I just hate it! I'd love to put my fingers in my ears and sing a song... maybe something like, "Love Bites!" Ugh!

These are the days that I allow myself to feel crappy. I know there is nothing coming for me, and I manage to allow me to feel sorry for myself!

I really am not unhappy in my marriage, but it seems like I always feel extremely unloved on these stupid days. I know I'm not... but I manage to let myself feel like it!

I'm ready to wake up tomorrow. Stupid Valentine's Day will be over with, and I can go on with my life. At least until September, when my darling husband will forget it's our anniversary because it doesn't matter to him. How could I have been married to this man for nearly 10 years and still get upset every single holiday?

Ok, I think I'm finished... So I'm off to clean up my face and put on some more mascara since mine is now mostly gone. I need to make myself look presentable and find my fake smile so that I can go help with Delaney's class Valentine party today!

Praise the Lord--he kept my husband safe from the storm!

On Tuesday night, I was watching a mean and nasty storm that was ripping right through a part of the country that my husband was headed straight toward in the truck... It had passed through where we live in the early afternoon, but it seemed like it was just getting stronger and stronger. I was really worried about him, and I must have called him twenty times to check and make sure he was ok and knew where the storm was!

At one point, he told me that he and the other guy he was running with had just seen a tornado behind them. This was in Missouri, and they were headed east--same direction the storm was going. Their plan was to run along just north of the Tennessee border through Kentucky to Bowling Green.

I prayed that God would protect them. It's all I know to do in this kind of situation! I just prayed... I finally talked to him the next morning, and they had pulled over to stay for the night in Charleston, MO (which is just east of the MO/KY state line... Thank goodness they did!

On Wednesday, they drove on to their destination. Mike said that they went through town after town that was just flattened, completely taken out by tornadoes. He could have tried to drive right through the middle of all of that, but I'm so glad he listened when he felt the urge to pull over and stay put for the night. I believe that God was telling him that it wasn't safe.

Prayer works--I'm saying this for people who might be reading and may have some doubts. God protected my husband as well as his friend. He was safe, and I am so grateful! Praise God!!

ABCs of Me

ABC of Me

The Letter A
Are you available?: Nope... happily married.
What is your age?: 33
What annoys you?: Lots of things! LOL! I can't stand when someone lies to me, and I don't like to be argued with.

The Letter B
Do you live in a big house?: I guess so... it's about 2400 square feet. Is that big? It's certainly bigger than any house I've lived in before!
When is your birthday?: October 11th
Who is your best friend?: I have good friends, but I'd say my hubby is my best friend.

The Letter C
What's your favorite candy?: Anything chocolate!
Who's your crush?: I don't think married people are supposed to have crushes. lol
When was the last time you cried?: Last night.

The Letter D
Do you daydream?: Of course! Doesn't everyone? :)
What's your favorite kind of dog?: Cavalier King Charles Spaniel or Cocker Spaniel--they're the cutest things ever!
What day of the week is it?: Wednesday

The Letter E
How do you like your eggs?: Scrambled... or fried (soft, not runny)
Have you ever been in the emergency room?: Yes--for myself, and also with my littlest girl!
What's the easiest thing ever to do?: Sleep! lol!

The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane?: Yes, but it was a 4-seater... never been in a big one!
Do you use fly swatters?: Yes
Have you ever used a foghorn?: Not sure what a foghorn is, but I like Foghorn Leghorn. LOL!!

The Letter G
Do you chew gum?: Yes! Orbit CinnaMint is my favorite. :)
Are you a giver or a taker?: Both... depends on the situation, I guess!
Do you like gummy candies?: Sometimes

The Letter H
How are you?: I am tired! Thanks for asking! ;-)
What color is your hair?: Strawberry blonde

The Letter I
What's your favorite ice cream?: Triple Fudge Brownie or Cappuccino Chunky Chocolate
Have you ever ice skated?: I have tried, but I wasn't exactly successful.
Do you play an instrument?: I pick at the piano, and I played flute in the high school band

The Letter JWhat's your favorite jelly bean brand?: Jelly Belly is the best! :)
Do you wear jewelry?: Yes, but not much

The Letter K
Who do you want to kill?: What kind of question is that!?
Do you want kids?: Already have two. I'd take more if God wants to give them to me. :)
Where did you go for kindergarten?: Northside Elementary in Siloam Springs, AR

The Letter L
Are you laid back?: Mostly... sometimes I can be uptight though!
Do you lie?: No! Well, not intentionally!

The Letter M
Whats your favorite movie?: The Notebook
Do you still watch Disney movies?: Yes, especially with my girls.
Do you like mangos?: Not really

The Letter N
Do you have a nickname?: No, but my uncles used to call me Little Red
What is your real name?: Stacy
Whats your favorite number?: 27
Do you prefer night over day?: Depends what for!

The Letter O
What's your one wish?: I have so many... how could I choose only one?
Are you an only child?: Nope. I have a younger brother.

The Letter P
What one fear are you most paranoid about? Losing someone I love... especially my husband or one of my kids
What are your pet peeves?: Bad grammar is a real turnoff for me. LOL!
What's a personality trait you look for in people?: Kindness, loyalty, honesty

The Letter Q
What's your favorite quote?: "Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. " ~James C. Dobson
Are you quick to judge people?: Not usually

The Letter R
Do you think you're always right?: Uh... yes. Is that bad? ;)
Are you one to cry?: Oh yes. You can count on it!

The Letter S
Do you prefer sun or rain?: Sun!!
Do you like snow?: NO! And I don't like cold either!

The Letter T
What time is it?: 3:42 pm
What time did you wake up?: 6:00 am
When was the last time you slept in a tent?: When I was a kid!

The Letter U
Are you wearing underwear?: Of course!
Underwear or boxers?: LOL... I prefer ladies underwear, thanks!

The Letter V
What's the worst veggie?: Ummm.... I don't know! Onions. It's the only one I can think of that I don't like.
Where do you want to go on vacation?: Anywhere. Who's taking me? :)

The Letter W
What's your worst habit?: I bite my nails
Where do you live?: Siloam Springs, AR
What's your worst fear?: Losing someone I love... like my dh or one of my kids.

The Letter X
Have you ever had an x-ray?: Yes--my back.
Have you seen the x-games?: Nope
Do you own a xylophone?: Does a toy one count?

The Letter Y
Do you like the color yellow?: Not really
What's one thing you yearn for?: Right now, financial peace!!

The Letter Z
Whats your zodiac sign?: Libra
Do you believe in the zodiac?: No
Favorite zoo animal?: Monkeys

I think Murphy likes me

You've heard of Murphy's Law... if it can go wrong, it will. Well, I feel like I'm only proving it right!

Yesterday, I almost let the fire go out in the fireplace insert... then it started to get really cold! I got the fire going really good again, and then tried to put in a piece of wood that was probably just too big. I tried to close the door, and it rolled. I had put it in at an angle to get it to fit. I closed the door on it, and broke the glass in the fireplace door!

Ugh! Why did I do that? I immediately started to panic. I made the mistake of calling Mike, and I just hung up when he asked me what I did.

I called my mom. I needed help! It took her longer to get across town than it did for me to get all the wood out of the fireplace and outside. I hosed it all off to make sure it was out! I don't need any more fires in the back yard!

All is ok. We're fine. The glass is still in the door, but it's all broken up.

My friend's hubby, who is a glass man, came over last night to check it out. The silly man didn't know my kids go to bed at 8, and he was ringing the doorbell like a crazy fool at 8:35. LOL! Anyhow, he told me about how much the piece of glass will cost.

I have started taking Dave Ramsey financial classes at our church, and I've mapped out a plan to get our emergency fund into place. Thank goodness I've managed to save the last 2 weeks of babysitting money or we would really have nothing to pay for replacing the glass! Of course it puts me back behind again on saving, but I still have a plan for saving! :)

All in all, I'm very thankful that the glass didn't shatter all over the room. It could have been a real disaster! I'm also thankful that we have central heat so that we won't freeze to death while we wait for 2 days for the piece of glass to be ordered.

It could be so much worse.

Thinking about all of this, I realized that we've been through a time that was much worse. Delaney was a little baby, and we ran out of propane. We lived in a trailer house in the middle of nowhere, and it was the coldest night ever. Thank goodness we had a small electric heater that we used in the bathroom! We put that little heater in our bedroom, and Delaney slept with us that night. We didn't freeze. We made it through just fine. And I think I probably wrote a hot check to buy propane the next day. Bad decision? Probably, but we didn't freeze. (As a side note... It's times like that night that I think of when my mother-in-law likes to say, "You kids don't know what hard times are." That only makes my blood boil. No wonder I like to stay home.)

I'm very thankful that we're still staying warm, in spite of not being able to keep a fire in the fireplace insert. We still have heat. We will have the door fixed soon so that we can have a fire again, and all will be fine.

Lack of Sleep

Last night I went to a class at our church, and my mom came over to give the girls a bath and put them in bed.

Delaney is the easy one these days, which is a real change that's only happened lately.

Jenna was still awake when I got home at 9 pm. She kept telling Granny that she needed Mommy to rock her! So I rocked her for about 30 minutes, hoping she would go to sleep quickly because I had laundry to fold and a dishwasher full of clean dishes waiting to be put away...

I finally told her I was going to lay her down, and she begged to go to my bed. So I laid her down, telling her I would be back in a few minutes. At 10:45, I finally had to go to bed without finishing my chores because she kept hollering for me. I figured it was the only way to get her to sleep at this point!

I laid down and went to sleep quickly. I'm not even sure she was alseep when I drifted off.

This morning she woke me up at 4:55, asking for chocolate milk. I went ahead & got her some, hoping she would go back to sleep. It didn't happen!

I got up just before 6 to get in the shower because I wasn't going back to sleep with a toddler kicking me in the ribs.

She managed to wake her sister up at 6:25. Delaney usually gets up at 6:45 to be ready for school, so she didn't lose too much sleep. Thank goodness.

We took Delaney to school, and then off to pick up one of the kids I babysit... Jenna was asleep when we got back home. She's now been asleep for almost 2 1/2 hours in her bed. Hopefully she will be rested up after her nap, and I hope she will be ready for bed tonight!! Mommy's worn out!

Why is it so hard to be thankful?

This morning, I got up and decided that I was just going to be thankful for this new day. It's sort of like a chance to make things good all over again.

Delaney went to school this morning upset with me. She's had a spot on her leg for 3 days that she won't let me touch. She says it hurts. It's red, swollen, looks like an infected ingrown hair or something. Finally she let the nurse look at it at school, and the nurse called me & said it's ok. If it looks worse or she gets a fever, take her to the doctor. I took some ibuprofen to the school for her. I pray it goes away soon. With all the talk of staph infection, it really concerned me!

I made quiche for dinner last night, and realized that we only had 1 egg left. I was worried about where I was going to find money to buy eggs! Ugh. I'm so tired of being this broke. What did we do to deserve this!?

Anyhow, I remembered I had a Walgreens gift card because I had filed for a rebate a couple of months ago. It's only $8, but it would buy eggs! So I went into Walgreens for eggs. I bought the last 2 dozen because they were cheaper than Wal-Mart anyhow! Praise the Lord!

I came home, and I figured I'd better vacuum since Mike's coming home tonight (yes, I crisis clean before my hubby comes home. lol!)... I was vacuuming along, thanking God that we were able to pay the electric bill this month so that I could vacuum the carpet. Then all of a sudden, I smelled something. I think the belt is going bad on the vacuum cleaner.

Why does something that I am thanking God for become something that seems like such a burden so quickly!? God knows I have $3 in my wallet. He knows that our checking account is empty. He knows that I have the feeling there won't be a paycheck this week. He knows that both of the moms I babysit for both forgot to pay me this week, for some unknown reason. Why does this stuff have to happen when I can't do a darn thing about it?

Ugh. I stewed for a few minutes, and remembered again how thankful I was to have electricity. And gas to run the furnace and water heater. And firewood to keep us warm. And so much more!

Why can't I just be thankful all the time instead of getting myself into a pity party over the silliest little thing!? Sometimes it is so hard, but I try to count my blessings anyhow. It seeems to make me feel better to remember my blessings instead of miserable like the pity party makes me feel!

Second part of my dream~it just gets better :)

This is a continuation from my last post... I wanted to make sure I knew what I was talking about when I wrote about this part. lol!

I called C to pick her brain, and she laughed. She told me exactly what she felt God was trying to tell me when the dream. She's so insightful! Love that woman. :)

The dream...
Remember that my house was on fire, so I was determined to get everyone out.

When I came out of the house into the garage, I buckled all of the kids into the van (I had the two I have been babysitting plus my own two). I looked back up from buckling everyone, my garage was no longer the same. It had become a giant expanse. There was Mike's semi truck parked behind mine, and there were two other semi trucks.

I started trying to find the door to get out, and I didn't see one. The door to get back into my house had disappeared. The van was suddenly gone. I was in this huge, open space with 3 semi trucks.


The interpretation...
Basically, the Lord is sending me a message of prosperity that I could not understand. I had worked out little pieces, but I needed help!

C told me that God is trying to tell me that if I will only trust Him, He will make a way through all of our troubles. That He wants to give us a tremendous blessing beyond what we can comprehend. That He is ready to give us that, but we have to believe for it. We must trust God to get us through this rough time. All we have to do is trust Him!

Right now we're believing Him to provide for milk! How could He do this for us? I know that God alone has the power. I believe. I have faith. I must remain standing. I must be strong and keep on believing. I must not allow my faith to waiver! No matter what the enemy tries to throw at me.

Why would God want to do such a thing for me? Because He loves me beyond anything I can comprehend. I am His child!

So, there you have it. That's my dream... and the interpretation from someone I trust very much. I believe it is a message from the Lord.

Last Night's Dream

Last night I had a dream that my house was on fire. It was on the roof, but it didn't really seem to be spreading at all. It didn't really even seem to be causing any damage!

I am pretty sure I know the meaning of this dream. We're behind on all of our bills, and our situation is starting to feel completely hopeless. It's like we're completely consumed.

A couple of months ago, a lady at church (D) told me that she'd had a dream about me and my family, and she and I talked about it with another lady who we both believed could give us some insight. C is an intercessor, and she is one of those people who often receives a word from the Lord about a situation.

D had dreamed that she was at my house, and it was a house built right next to the water (not sure if it was lake or ocean--just a large body of water). There was a storm coming in, and it got violent. The waves crashed against the house, pounding really hard. We all feared that the windows would break and that the house would wash away. But when the storm was over, nothing was damaged. The foundation of the house was just the same...

The other lady (C) just smiled a very knowing smile and said she knew exactly what that meant, and she gave me a verse. Isaiah 43:2 says, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze."

C said that we are about to go through a big storm, and that things are going to look very hopeless and very bad. But that when the storm is over, we will look as if it had never touched us. She instructed me to keep this verse handy, and to remind the Lord often that He promised us that He would see us through the storm unharmed. I was told to claim the promise that was given to me.

I feel like that's what my dream last night was about as well. The fire kept burning, but it didn't seem to be hurting anything. It was like flames were shooting from the roof, but it wasn't burning anything up. But that didn't make it any less scary when I was looking at it!

Mike and I talked about our situation last night right before I went to bed, so I prayed that I wouldn't have bad dreams. I seem to be have them after we've had those conversations! Usually it's something pretty scary, but I know those dreams are not from God!

There was a little more to the dream, but I didn't understand that part... I want to ask C about it next time I see her and see if she has any insight before I talk about it. :)

I'll have a couple of both

When I ask Jenna a question like, "Would you rather have a hamburger or chicken nuggets?" She almost always replies with, "I want a couple of both." Well... that really wasn't the question. I was giving you a choice between the two.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm like that in my own life. For example... If I were given the choice between electricity and natural gas, I think I'd probably want to choose both.... there are advantages to each one. Each of them keeps me happy in some way--the gas heats our house and runs the water heater, the electricity keeps the lights on, cooks the food and washes the dirty clothes. See what I mean? Everything has its purpose, right? Even when it's a hamburger or chicken nuggets. I'm sure that each must satisfy her tummy in a different way.

Just made me feel good :)

Delaney was out sick from school yesterday, and I forgot to send her a note this morning... so I e-mailed her teacher to let her know why Delaney was absent yesterday.

There came a reply that said, "Thank you! I'm so glad Delaney is back today!"

After having talked with her about Delaney before (she'stold me more than once that Delaney is a "joy to have in her classroom"), it just made me feel good all over again.... I really do love her teacher. :)

Interview with the kiddos

Have you ever interviewed your kids? I thought this would be fun this morning... since I'm trying to be more fun and less of a stick-in-the-mud. LOL!

Here are the results of our interview... I think they're kinda funny. :)


DELANEY (age 7)

Favorite....Color(s): pink
Food: oranges & grapes
Drink: tea
Candy: flavored candy canes
Ice Cream: cookie dough
Dessert: chocolate pie
Game: polly pocket or webkinz (websites)
Movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks
Song: one from church, but I can’t remember what it’s called
Music Group: the church group
Book: Polly Pocket & Strawberry Shortcake books
Animal: little Chihuahuas like Molly
Outfit: My bright orange one
When I grow up, I want to be: a teacher (maybe)
My best Friend is: Makayla
because: I like to play with her.
My other friends: Lilly, Faith, Madison from school, and her last name is Hodge. And Tita Lor and Ashley.
I like to collect: marbles, beads (sometimes)


JENNA (age 2 1/2)

Favorite....
Color(s): orange
Food: fruit, bananas, apples
Drink: tea (lol, she never drinks tea!)
Candy: chocolate
Ice Cream: chocolate
Dessert: MM's
Game: Ashes, Ring 'round a rosie (these are the same thing)
Movie: Elmo (I don't think she’s ever even watched Elmo! LOL!), Wiggles
Song: ABCs, Twinkle Little Star, Bitsy Spider
Music Group: Don't know!
Book: Ducky
Animal: puppy dog
Outfit: dress
When I grow up, I want to be: ummm.... person
My best Friend is: ummmm…. I don’t know! I like to play with Camryn.
My other friends: Garrett, Allie, Logan, Grant, Morgan (these are all kids in the church nursery!)
What do you like to collect? I like to collect! I like baby dolls.