Someone please pass the Prozac

This may just need to be completely ignored... just in case anyone seriously thinks I might commit murder. I think I am going to have to pray EXTRA long and hard tonight. I need forgiveness for the thoughts I've been thinking today, but you may soon understand the reasons behind them....

My mother-in-law is back at her old tricks again. She is driving me insane. She's so wishy-washy about things that I don't know when to believe her!! I mean... the woman has changed her mind so many times that I'm not sure she has a clue which direction she's headed.

She told my hubby that she wanted to buy our pickup. Then she doesn't, then she does. (Some of you may remember my previous post on the subject.) So I sat it out by the street corner with a "for sale" sign in the window because we HAVE to sell it. That was yesterday morning.

This afternoon, she calls my hubby (she never calls me, but no love lost there!). She proceeds to gripe him out that HER truck has a for sale sign in the window. So, Mike calls me and instructs me to take the sign out of the window. RIGHT NOW!

EXCUSE ME, LADY (if that's even an appropriate term)!! You have not paid a dime for the thing!!

And, furthermore... if you went out of your way to spy on me, why didn't you stop to say hello to your grandchildren?

She's looney, I tell you! I am SOOO ready for this to be over. Sometimes it actually gives me pains--physical pains!!--to think that my children are related to this family. Look out, Vinita... we're on the way!! (Ok, so that's an inside joke we use here--there's a big mental facility in Vinita, OK.)

Is there any state in which murder is legal? Just askin'... you know, for future reference. It might be fun to take MIL on a nice vacation sometime.

Why can't he take my side just once? Why doesn't he defend me? She says "jump", and he gets started right away. I say "jump", and he just looks at me sideways. I am sick to death of coming in line behind someone who is so obviously off her rocker!!

Ugh. Somebody please pass the Prozac. The entire bottle--don't be stingy! I'm flipping out over here!!

P.S. You should know that I considered not clicking the button to post this message. But I have to get this out of my system, and it's not nearly as effective if I write the whole thing and delete it... I really am not psychotic. lol

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

So... it sleeted all day long. The streets look like a big slushy mess... we've been watching people slide around on the street outside out front window. Thing is, it's all going to freeze overnight. That should make a nice mess for people to drive around in!

There are people just down the road from us who haven't had any power since last Saturday. Can you imagine? No electricity for an enire week! We bought firewood from a couple who has been without any power since Saturday--a whole week now. They do have a generator and a wood stove... so thank goodness they're okay. I tend to be a worry-wort when it comes to things like that.

I'm thankful tonight for electricity... for wood to burn in the fireplace... for children who didn't complain about their supper tonight--they ate, took their baths and went to bed without a fight, almost like little angels... I'm thankful for so many things. There are so many who literally have nothing. I have so much. I am very blessed.

So frustrated by money (or lack threof)

And it's especially frustrating when you don't have any! It feels like we're robbing Peter to pay Paul right now, and for the past few weeks... I just pray that Mike's work picks up so that we'll be able to keep our bills paid... Right now, everything is behind. Everything. I've had a hard time admitting this to myself... and I feel like I am stripping myself bare right here for everyone to see. It's also forced me to talk to my husband about how much money we owe--and to whom. I know that everything happens for a reason, so maybe that's the reason.

I am just so frustrated, and I'm trying really hard to not let this get me down. I believe that the money will come just in time, and that it will be enough to keep us from financial ruin... it's just so hard to keep the faith when we're going through this kind of a trying time...

Mike's check comes by mail weekly. It should have been here today, and it was not in the mail. Mike had to call the office & ask for an advance on his pay so that we can fix the broken windshield in the Peterbilt. That kinda makes you swallow your pride. I have to pay our gas & electric bills by Monday, and all our major payments (house, both vehicles & Pete) are behind... I hate this feeling. I don't like to owe anyone money. I can only pray that we're able to recover quickly, and that we have learned from our mistakes. This time it was not our mistake that got us into trouble though... it's the fact that Mike's work has been so slow. He was off work 3 weeks in Dec/Jan, and he has only worked about 10 days since that... It just feels like there is no end in sight. It hurts, and I find myself really fighting depression once again.

I have so much to thank God for though... I have stored food in our pantry & freezer, so that we have plenty to eat. We have fire wood, so we will stay warm. I have bought "supplies" in advance (like soap, deodorant & toilet paper)... so I know we will be ok. We're not going to starve or freeze. That's a comfort, at least... and I thank God for giving me the foresight to plan for such times.

I don't mean to get anybody else down... I just needed to vent it out! If you've read it.... thanks for "listening".

No Time to Breathe

My hubby has been home for a couple of days.. I'm glad he's here and not out driving on the ice, but he starts to get on my nerves after a few days... lol! Being at home together 24/7 is much different from what we're used to, as he is usually out on the truck while I'm at home with our girls.

Tuesday night, he found out that his mom's electricity had been off for 4 days due to the recent ice storm. So yesterday he went all over town looking for a generator for her. They finally got one at our little local hardware store. Of course when she got back home, her electricity was back on. It was off for FOUR days, and I'm surprised she didn't try to do anything about it before then. She and grandma (her mom) came to our house to take a shower yesterday. We live in town, and we haven't been out of electricity except for the hour on Sunday night.
I think I'll change the subject before I go into a mother-in-law rant... 'cause I think I could go on for days. (insert rolling eyes here! lol)

My dear husband just went out to help his mom unload the generator out of the back of her pickup... so this is the first time I've been able to sit at the computer for more than 5 minutes since he got home on Tuesday night. When he's at home, I feel like all I do is cook and clean and do load after load of laundry!! Last night it was about 8:15, and I had just gotten both kids in bed (by myself--he doesn't usually help!). I went to sit down in my rocking chair, and he looked at me... So I snapped at him, "Is it not okay with you if I sit down for just 5 minutes!?" Gracious. I entertained his family for at least 2 hours, cooked 3 meals, and I must have washed/dried/folded at least 4 loads of laundry! I was ready for a rest!!

He didn't say anything. Lucky for him 'cause I might have smacked him. I was really tired. I don't think he realizes that this is what I do every.single.day. My entire life is centered around raising his children and keeping his house clean!! I know I am very blessed to be able to stay at home with the kids, and I'm glad I can. But sometimes I feel like I don't have a life outside my own front door.

Wow. I think I'm shocked at myself for even saying it. I am supposed to be joyful about taking care of my family and my home... why does that come so hard sometimes?

My First Car

I have been missing my first car lately... not sure why. Maybe because I was emotionally attached to it! LOL!

My first car was a 1979 Camaro. It was bright red orange. The first time I saw it, it was full of hail dents and had a bad motor. It became our "family" car when I was 13, and it was instant love for me.

The summer before I turned 16 was spent in the shop with my dad. We worked every night, buiding an engine for the Camaro. I also helped him and his friend do the body work and paint it. I don't think I've ever been so proud of anything in my life (up til I had my kids, at least!).

The morning of my 16th birthday, my mom handed me the keys. WOW! I was actually on my own. I had to take my little brother to school, of course, but I was the "grownup" in the car. lol

My birthday was during the week of our football homecoming, and the traditional bonfire was on my birthday. I brought home about 8 kids from the bonfire. lol... My mom had cake for everyone, too.

Two nights later, I had a guy in my car... he dared me to see how fast it would go. We only got to 115 when he asked me to slow down. Hee hee... I think I scared him! He was cute--a football player, and a huge guy. I ended up dating him briefly a couple of years later.

My Camaro and I cruised the highway of my small hometown, night after night... I met a lot of boys because of my car. It was so pretty.

I had my Camaro for a few years... When I went to college, I traded it for a newer Firebird with t-tops. I wished for my Camaro back because I had a constant sunburn. lol!

I chased a lot of boys in that car, and I drove it a lot of miles. It was probably the best car I ever owned. Especially since I now drive a minivan with a $465 payment. Ugh. Guess I grew up.

Wanna hear something really funny? My hubby said the other day, "You would be so cute in a Camaro. I think we should buy you one this summer." :D Music to my ears...