If I can't have it, then why do I want it so bad?

I want a new camera so bad I can almost feel it in my hands. I can see the beautiful photos I would take. I can taste the money it could bring in. Ahhh... maybe that's it. I want so much to start my own business that I can hardly stand it. The problem is that we can't afford a new camera. It would set us back at least $600, just for the camera that I want!! The Nikon D50 digital SLR. It's actually one of the cheaper digitals that Nikon makes, but it's good for what I need it for.

I have a film camera that's fine, but it's not what I want. After using a digital, I feel that film is wasteful! You can't see your pictures until they come back from development... and then if they're all bad, you've just wasted your time and $6 to develop them. See? I really do need this camera. I've convinced myself of that.

So here again I must say, "Get thee behind me Satan!" I do not NEED that camera--it is a want, a desire... I am once again pushing my own wants to the back burner. After all, it's Christmas. It's the slow time of the year for Mike's work, and we can barely pay our bills as it is. And my kids are both constantly outgrowing their clothes. Mom's wishes and desires are put last on the list again! But isn't that what it's about? Sacrifice? Ahhh... the joys of motherhood. Too bad I can't capture them with that new camera.

I do believe that the Lord wants to give me the desires of my heart... but I also believe the He has more perfect timing than I. If I'm meant to have that camera, I'll get it in time. Or maybe something even better 'cause that's how my God works!