Does it really matter?

I sometimes wonder if what I’m doing today really makes any difference. I mean… will it matter when I’m gone? Will I have made a difference to someone? Is what I’m doing today going to make any difference in eternity?

To be quite honest, I sometimes find myself doing things for the sole purpose of pleasing another person (or people). I like to make people happy. I suppose that makes me a people-pleaser. But I’m not always all about making people happy.

Occasionally, I hear words come out of my mouth that surprise me. Like when I have to get onto a child who does not belong to me, which happens pretty much every Tuesday night at our Brownie meetings. I try to love them, and to be very loving when I have to discipline.

There are times that it is hard for me to really respect my husband. I have to stop and remember that God calls me to do so whether I feel he deserves it or not! When he’s been out on the truck for a couple of weeks, I have so many little chores I need done around the house! I try not to bombard him with them. I try not to whine about how the kids dumped out all the puzzles, and then cried because I told them to pick them up. I want him to feel like his home is a refuge, a place to relax. I want him to want to come home to his family.

When I’m having a difficult time loving my husband and my children because they have made me so furious that I can finally take no more (okay, so I obviously lack patience!), I find myself calling out to God for help. I depend on Him. He always listens. He promised to be there for me always. So I tell Him all my troubles, and I believe that He hears me.

I have started to try and view things from an eternal perspective. I may not remember my deeds (good or bad) once I get to the pearly gates, but I am sure they must be written down in a book somewhere. Will they matter in eternity? Will they be remembered when I pass from this life to the next?

A couple of times, my pastor’s wife has told me, smiling, “I see one more jewel in your crown!” when I’m trying to soothe a fussy toddler in the nursery or helping serve dinner after a funeral to a grieving family. I love to help whenever I can. It’s just who I am. I don’t expect a reward for it! But I do admith that just the thought of someday wearing a crown in heaven with big, beautiful jewels in it makes me smile (hey, what girl doesn't love jewelry!)! I told her once that I’d like emeralds and rubies, please! She laughed and said, “He knows the desires of your heart, and He wants to give them all to you!”

Wow. How amazing is that. Someone wants to give me everything I have ever wanted, and more! It’s truly incredible to me.