Memories of Homecoming

We drove past the football stadium tonight so that my girls could see why there were fireworks going off in September... and why there were police cars followed by a pickup truck load of screaming cheerleaders coming down the street earlier today. It's homecoming tonight...

It looked REALLY packed. We parked across the street from the stadium just long enough for the girls to see the halftime show, which included a dance routine by the cheerleaders and a performance by the marching band. The announcer told the names of the band's drum majors, and one of them had the same last name as us. Delaney asked, "Is that my cousin?" I said yes. (Sad that my kids don't know their own first cousins on their dad's side, isn't it? That's just the way they play... but that isn't what this post is about.) I believe they had four drum majors... and they said that the band has 155 members! That's way more than we had, I'm sure. And I only remember having one drum major. (Judiemae's dh was one of them! :) )

From my house, I can hear the announcer loud and clear if the windows are open. The fireworks really pop, and you can even hear the crowd cheer. I think it's cool to live right down the street from the high school I attended myself as a teenager, but that will soon change... We're getting a new high school way across town. (I don't think it will ever be the same, but I am not one of those people who handles change very well!)

I haven't been to one homecoming since I graduated from high school. Neither has my husband. We talk about it every year, but we never do go... Would it even be the same if you aren't seventeen? You wouldn't get to buy a new outfit complete with shoes to match (well, you might--but you'd have to buy it yourself instead of mom & dad!), and you wouldn't get to go to the dance with some cute boy in his souped-up pickup truck. The boys would buy their girlfriends a giant mum corsage with maroon pipe cleaners shaped into "SS" on the top for our school name... And somebody always got in trouble at the dance for dancing too close together. The pep rallies and parades and spirit days were always fun, too.

Ahh, the memories. *sigh* lol!

By the way... I can hear the band playing right now! :)

I'll give you a good laugh at my expense...

I'll take one for the team here 'cause I know a lot of you out there need a good laugh! :p

I was going through some clothes I got my DDs at a consignment sale last week, getting ready to wash everything and hang them in the closets.

I was unloading bags of stuff from 2 different sales. I got to the second bag of clothes, and pulled out a dress that I had JUST seen. I thought to myself, "I just took the tag off of this one!"

No. I'm wrong. I've bought two of the same dress. Light pink, Gymboree, same print, size 4T. They are exactly alike. Only difference is that I gave $8 for one, $5 for the other (different consignment sales/shops, obviously).

I'm thinking Camryn (whom I babysit and is close to Jenna's size) is getting a new dress just like Jenna's... lol

I think maybe the next time I go shopping, I need to bring a photo album of all the clothes I've already bought my children.

It's ok. Laugh and roll your eyes. I did! :)

My Plan vs. God's Plan~Patience and Trust

You know... no matter what i plan for, it seems that something happens to mess it up. It's becoming obvious to me that the Lord has something for me that I can't see yet!

Mike informed me on Monday that he is ready to sell our Peterbilt. It's now been listed for sale. I e-mailed pictures to the salesman on Monday evening.

I have no idea what life has in store for us when or if the truck sells. Mike said that maybe we can get something cheap that we can pay off quicker so that he won't have to be gone so much... OR maybe he can get a good job here at home.

Do you know that I have not had my husband at home for more than a couple of weeks at a time in seven and a half years? That's a long time to sleep by yourself and wonder where your husband is and if he's ok!

Do you have any idea how difficult this is for me? I have NO idea where he will work. I don't know if he will have a job. I don't know if the truck will sell or when.

I am not the kind of girl who likes surprises. If I could ask God for an itinerary for my life, I would definitely have it in my hands, memorizing every single entry! I want to know what is going to happen and when it's going to happen. I need to know now. I don't like to wait. I've never been accused of being patient.

The fear of the unknown is really taking over my life right now in more areas than one. But then, I suppose that we never really know if we'll even wake up tomorrow.

I met a lady a couple of weeks ago that works in a furniture store part-time. Her name is Linda. Something about her really stuck with me. I feel very drawn to her, and I know that God put her in my path for a reason. Perhaps it was to teach me a lesson. She is really sweet and friendly, and somehow she and Mike got on the subject of trucking. Her husband was a trucker, and he owned a company for 25 years. Last year, they crawled in bed to go to sleep... but when she woke up in the morning, her husband was dead. My heart ached for her! I knew that I could be in her shoes one day. We truly never know what lies ahead for us.

She said she wished she had known he it was his time, but Mike disagreed with her. He told her about how awful it was to watch his dad die slowly, over the period of three years. He talked about how he lost the use of his legs, and then the pain-killing drugs took over his mind to the point that he was no longer himself. Mike said that he didn't want to know when it's his time--he didn't want to go slow, but rather all at once because he thought it would be easier for everyone.

We all have our own opinions about what is best. And of course, we all think we know what's best because, after all, don't we know ourselves better than anyone? Sometimes I think I need to tell God what I need, what I want. But HE knows better than I do what I need, so who am I to try and tell Him? Trusting has never been easy for me--it seems like I always trust the wrong person at the wrong time or for the wrong reasons. But right now, with all that is going on in my life, I feel like God is telling me to surrender it all to Him. Only HE can work out for the best. I can't control this! I can't control any of it. It's far beyond what I can handle alone. I have no choice but to trust Him.

What reason do I have to fear? God said in His Word that He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of sound mind! He also promised in His Word that He will never leave me nor forsake me, and that my children will not beg for bread. That tells me that He will provide for the needs of my family. I am going to take Him at His word because I have to trust that His Word is truth!

My mind is full of all kinds of questions about all sorts of things, and my heart knows that they will be answered in God's time... but that doesn't make the wait any easier.

Truck woes--sort of a vent

Mike called me yesterday, wanting to know if he should pay for his two new steer tires from our checking account, or if he should charge them to Fred's account and pay them out. (Fred is the owner of the company we're leased to.) I told him to go ahead and pay for them, since we actually had enough money for a change. He charged them.

He called me a few minutes later and said one of his batteries blew up. Good thing he didn't pay for the tires out of our checking account because there would not have been enough money to fix both problems! He went to Peterbilt and got batteries. They were $120 each--the truck takes FOUR!

Geesh. That's $500 just for batteries. The tires were almost $700. So there went $1,200 in only one day. And the truck needs a new air compressor. Guess what? It ain't gonna happen this week! Trucking is incredibly expensive... which is about half the reason I despise it.

After doing all that late yesterday, he was too tired to make it all the way home. So I called him at 7 am to wake him up. He spent the night in Tulsa, only 100 miles from home. How disappointing.

And there you go--the other reason I despise trucking. My husband is always too tired to make it home. He almost always has to stop somewhere along the way to rest just to make it here. And then he ends up spending almost no time with his family because he's tired. He ends up sleeping most of the weekend to "catch up" so that he can go another week.

Have I mentioned that I don't like trucking? Ugh. I really would like to have my husband back... but he seems to belong to the open road instead of to me. :(

Second Grade... Coming Soon!

Delaney will start school on August 18. She will be in the second grade, and it's only 3 days away!

We had gotten a letter earlier this week about open house. It had a little bit about her teacher, a list of students that will be in her classroom, and a class schedule. Delaney immediately started to cry! She only knew one little girl in her class, and we were having trouble trying to figure out how to pronounce the teacher's name.

Last night, we went to open house at school. We met her teacher, Mrs. Mansilla (pronounced man-SEE-uh), and she is very nice! She was very sweet and friendly, and seems to have a great love for the kids. I'm so relieved to have met her because I think I get more nervous about school and the teachers than Delaney does!

Allen Elementary seems so huge. There are several halls of classrooms for the second grade students! Last year we were told that at last count, there were 305 first-graders. Wow. That's a lot of kiddos!

When we were getting all of Delaney's things together to take to her new class last night, Jenna got herself a backpack and wanted to take "her" things to school, too. LOL... Thankfully, it will be a couple more years before we have to worry about Jenna going to school. I'm not quite ready for that yet!

Going with hubby for a week

Tonight I'm leaving with Mike in the truck. The kids will be staying with my parents... I'm sure they're ready for a break from me, and I'm looking forward to spending some much-needed time with my husband!

I'm hoping to keep a journal of the places we go & things we see--and hopefully take lots of pictures of things I've never seen before, lol!

I hope we get a load to Florida, but the dispatcher is still working out the details on that one... So far I know we'll pick up cows in Warren, Arkansas tomorrow morning then head to Wheeler, Texas. That's the plan as of now, but I have no idea where we'll go after that!

We plan to be gone til about Saturday.... so I'll do my best to update when we get back in. :)

What color are you?

You Are a Red Crayon

Your world is colored with bright, vivid, wild colors.
You have a deep, complex personality - and you are always expressing something about yourself.
Bold and dominant, you are a natural leader. You have an energy that is intense... and sometimes overwhelming.
Your reaction to everything tends to be strong. You are the master of love-hate relationships.

Your color wheel opposite is green. Green people are way too mellow to understand what drives your energy.

Take the quiz here:
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorcrayonareyouquiz/

Who am I?

Have you ever thought about who you are? Really?

I think I've taken on the identity of mother and wife, and I don't even know who I am on my own anymore... I'm so confused.

This is something that my pastor's wife and I talked about yesterday, and I realized that I have no idea who I am anymore. She asked me to write down a list of what I like, what I don't like, and who I am. I don't even know where to begin. I started making a list last night, and then realized that I don't even know if that is me! I feel a little bit lost... I don't even know myself anymore. How sad is that!?

I think I'm so used to taking care of kids all the time and concerning myself with what THEY like and don't like, that it doesn't even matter to me what I like or don't anymore. I've taken on their likes & dislikes... as well as my husband's.

You would think that as much time as I spend apart from Mike, I wouldn't have done that with him. But I think I have. I try to do things in the house like HE would like them. And I think I've just decided that I like it that way, too. Do I really? I don't even know. I think I spend a lot of time trying to be happy when I don't even know if I am...

If anyone out there happens to see someone who looks like me wandering around... can you please direct me to myself?

Fun with Jenna at the park this morning!

Jenna begged to go to the park this morning as we drove past... we go past the park every morning after we drop Delaney off at school.

It is really not unusual for her to beg to go to the park to see the ducks, but this morning I said yes--that is the unusual part... :p

Here's Jenna chasing the ducks...

I like this picture... maybe it would be a good black & white?

Here are a couple more I really liked...

And of course we had to slide a few times!

Going up...

And coming down...

There were so many kids this morning that it was hard to play... and they didn't seem to notice that they were running over Jenna (they were bigger), so we didn't stay there long. :(

Memorial Weekend

Yesterday afternoon, the girls and I went with my parents & my aunt to the cemetery to put flowers on our family members' graves... Mike was supposed to be home by the time we finished, and we were all going to go out to eat together. But that didn't happen because he had to lay down for a nap. Seems like he's always too tired to do anything but sleep when he's at home... it's sort of depressing!

Last night he told me some things that had been said (he didn't even know who had said them--just some things he had heard over the cb radio)--things that really bothered me. I pray protection over him daily, but now I feel even more like it's got to be a constant, consistent prayer. I worry about him anyhow, and now I will probably only worry more. I try to give it to God, but it still seems to stay constantly on my mind.

He has to leave out tonight... he barely gets to be here 24 hours. I really don't like it when the weekends go like this. I would much rather he be home for 3 days since he only gets to be here every other weekend... :(

Feeling very burdened about many things

I don't understand what I'm feeling right now... I am feeling so incredibly burdened in my heart for the Steven Curtis Chapman family who lost their daughter, as well as the family in our town whose father was killed.

My bro & sil are adopting, and she has met the birth mother... they received news this week that birth mom has lost her job, and her best friend (also her roommate) has been diagnosed w/ terminal cancer, and had to move back home to let her parents take care of her... so birth mom is left alone, trying to figure out how to pay the full amount of rent with no job, and she's about 4 weeks from giving birth.

I feel such a burden for these situations that I am actually sick to my stomach. I feel pain in my body--for people I do not even know personally. I do not understand this at all... I've felt it before, but never quite this strong.

Our pastor & wife are on sabbatical, and we have had others filling in in their absence. Sis Kelly preached last night, and she gave a wonderful message about the storms we face in life... it was based on Isaiah 43:1-2. This was actually a verse given to me in prophecy several months back when I was facing my own personal storm.... but I could hardly even concentrate on her message because the family in our town was weighing so heavy on my heart and mind!

What is this that I'm experiencing? I feel like I need some kind of answers, but I don't really know exactly where to go to get them... Can somebody help me? What do I need to do? Is this some sort of spiritual gift I've been given? And if so, what do I do with it? I've been praying for these people, but somehow it doesn't seem enough...

I'm ready for my pastor's wife to come back... I need her advice and insight right now!

Tragedy sometimes makes us realize our own blessings

Earlier this week, a family in our little town lost a husband and father. I really didn't know them except in business dealings, but I thought they seemed like awfully nice people. The man was unloading a bulldozer from his trailer, and it fell on him and killed him. His 17-year-old son was there with him.

I feel so terribly sad for this family, even though I really don't know them. I can't even begin to imagine what the family is feeling--especially the son who was there with him at the time of the accident. I feel like they are going to need a lot of prayers and support to get through this. I don't even know them, and yet I want to do something--anything--to bring them some comfort.

There are just some days I feel like I am terribly blessed to wake up and see the sun in the morning and to play with my kids and talk to my husband. And if I make it alive to the end of the day to be able to put my kids to bed and go to sleep, I am even more blessed. Every day I am able to spend with my two little girls and my husband is such a gift!

I hope that anyone reading this will realize that your life is truly a gift from God--every moment, every breath. We never know when it's our time to go, and I want to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will be with my Savior for all eternity! So please don't go another minute unprepared for your last minute.

Ever tasted baby powder?

Blech.

An entire new container of baby powder was emptied in Jenna's room this morning... and the little boy that I babysit (G, age 4) was her little helper. Poor little girl (C, age 18 mos) was totally covered, and so was Jenna--their clothes, shoes, dresses, hair... And Jenna's room.

Two little girls just got a bath, and I shook out theire dresses in the back yard.

Jenna and G (boy) both had a time out to think about it, and both were asked to apologize & both did.

I have vacuumed, swiped, swept and mopped... and I can still see powder. I can still taste it, too. Yuck. All I can say is at least it isn't something stinky.

This is my last week babysitting... I'm kind of glad. Jenna didn't get into quite so many ornery little things on her own!

I'm sure you're probably wondering where I was when all this took place. I was in the kitchen putting dishes in the dishwasher. The kids were back in Jenna's room, and I could hear toys playing (music)... then they all started to giggle a little too much. By the time I got back there, it was too late.

Oh, what a mess. And I got in such a hurry to get it all cleaned up (because I was tasting it!) that I never thought to take a picture until just now. Oh well.

We got a dog!

When I was a little girl, we had a cocker spaniel named Brandy. She died from poisoning, and I was heartbroken! I've wanted another cocker ever since.

Last Saturday, we went with a friend to see a cocker spaniel that a friend of hers was wanting to give away, and we fell in love with her instantly!

Meet Bella...

Isn't she a cutie!! :)

Delaney said that she is my mother's day gift, lol... She's really taken to her, and she feeds her and likes to walk her on the leash. Jenna started off a little timid because Bella was so excited she would jump on her, but she's already started to calm down and play better with Jenna.

I think Mike even likes her. Now THAT's saying something. :p

Last night's storm

Remember that pretty bradford pear tree in my front yard by the corner?

Well... it's gone. At least, three fourths of it is gone. Laying out in the street. It's blocking my driveway, and I'm going to have to drive over the curb by the mailbox to get out. All that's left standing is a sprig... it looks pretty pitiful!

And the beautiful blue tarp on my hubby's lovely pickup blew off, so I get to go fix that. It's sort of necessary to put the tarp back on since the hood and one of the doors are taking up valuable space inside my garage. (Otherwise I would leave the silly thing!) Oh, happy day. lol

I am very grateful this is our only damage from the storm last night. I could not believe how hard the wind was blowing!


School is canceled today due to the weather... and being the curious bird that I am, I want to get out and drive around to survey the damage. If I do get to that, I'll take my camera & post what I find... I have a feeling there must be power lines down in some places or they would not have canceled school.


Where we live there is an electric box right beside the house. They put it in for the casino across the street, to ensure that their electric did not go out for more than a minute. It works because that's about how long ours was out this morning... (Of course, we all probably know that Cherokee Nation decided to use someone else for their electricity AFTER our city spent oodles and gobs of money on that project (and tore the heck out of my front yard all summer last year!), but that's another story altogether!)


I know my parents were out of electricity at 4:20 am... not sure if it's back on yet. My mom said they had trees down all over (of course the dead tree in the front was still standing, the stinker!), and she thought there may have been a power line down on their street, too.


I think maybe I was called to be a reporter. Just thinking about it, I'm really itching to get out and see what's going on everywhere else! lol!

My kids are outgrowing all their things!

Wow... I hate to say this (or maybe it's just really hard to admit to myself!), but Jenna is starting to outgrow some of the toys we have in our back yard. And Delaney is getting to big for our small swing set. What happened to my little girls? They're growing way too fast.

I don't think I had prepared myself for this... I knew they would need new clothes for the summer, but new play equipment, too? Yikes. Delaney is STILL growing so fast it's hard to keep her in clothes for one season. I thought (hoped!) she would slow down at some point! And Jenna is so tall and skinny that it's hard to get pants that fit her right... if they're small enough in the waist, they're too short. I'm so glad it's finally time for capris and shorts! She may have to wear dresses from here on out if she doesn't put on some weight around the middle. lol!
I guess I'm just feeling a little sentimental this morning... missing the little bitty kids I had at one point.

I mean... they're supposed to look like this!

Gosh... it's so hard to believe that was three years ago, and now they look like this!

Jenna just turned 3 this month

And Delaney is 7 1/2. HOW did THAT happen!?

Ok... I'm gonna go cry now.

Ice Cream & Potato Chips... Yeah, it's PMS alright!

I always know it's really PMS when I have the craving for ice cream & potato chips. Not together or at the same time, but I crave both of them! It's like I need something sweet, then I need to follow it up with something salty. Like french fries with a chocolate Frosty. Strange, but yummy. And necessary, it almost seems!

Am I the only one who craves things like that?

I also feel like I can't stop eating. I can't have one handful of chips. I'll seriously eat half the bag. And then I'll find something else to munch on! And then, of course I feel really terrible after eating like that!

If anyone tells my kids I had Brownie Batter ice cream (yummy!) after they went to bed, I'm gonna be really mad! I think they already believe there's a party here after they're asleep! lol! ;-)

P.S. No, I am NOT pregnant... just figured I'd just go ahead and clear that up before anyone asks. :-D

Please tell me I'm not alone here! Not that I want anyone else to be like this, but it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one out there!!

10 on the 10th

Here are 10 pictures I took today! My theme for today is "Signs of Spring".

This first one is downtown... it rained so much over night that the creek was coming out of its banks!

Here's a different view... there's a bridge under there!

This is what it looks like in my back yard. There is water way up around the pool, and it's a soggy mess back there!

Tulips...

Azaleas are blooming...

Creeping Phlox is beautiful out by the little goldfish pond... Apple tree is all blossomed out, so pray we don't have a hard freeze! :)

Here's the pile of lumber we bought to finish out our privacy fence in the back yard...

Here's where it's supposed to go, and I pray that it gets done before Christmas 2010! Ha ha... :pAnd here's the little spot I cleared out by accident when I set the leaves on fire over the winter... (for those who don't recall, I dumped out ashes I thought were cold, but it turned out they were still hot and set some leaves on fire!). It was a little bit brushy back there, but not anymore! Oops!

ABCs of the things I love

ABCs of the things I love!

A-apples, avocados, antiques

B-babies, blueberry pancakes, butterflies, beach, blackberry cobbler

C-Coke, church, cross, candles, chocolate, cherries, coffee, Christmas, cake

D-Delaney, daughters, dad, dogwoods

E-egg salad, enchiladas, earrings

F-flip flops, French fries, friends

G-guacamole, gum, giggling

H-husband, hyacinths, hugs from my babies

I-internet, ice cream, iced tea

J-Jenna, jelly, Jesus, jewelry

K-kids, kisses from my sweeties

L-lasagna, little girls, laughter

M-Mike, mom, movies, music

N-naps, nachos

O-Old Navy, ocean

P-potato soup, pasta, peaches (esp. peach cobbler!), photography, pictures, pajamas, purple, petit fours

Q-quilts

R-rainbows, restaurants, relaxing

S-singing, sunny days, stamping, scrapbooking, shoes, snacks, summer

T-Tinkerbell, tamales, tulips, tacos, traveling, tea parties

U-under the covers (sleep!), USA, underwear that stays put!

V-vacation, vanilla

W-washing machine, waterfalls, webkinz, weddings

X-Xyron

Y-yogurt, yellow roses

Z-zoo, zany moods

Easter Egg Hunt

We had our church's Easter egg hunt today... the girls & I all went, along with my parents, my sister-in-law & my nieces.

I was in charge of the nursery age group since I'm the nursery class coordinator, so I had Jenna's group. She got 7 eggs in her basket, and she was excited to open them up and find candy inside.

Delaney was in a different group, so I didn't get to see much of her. She came home with 33 eggs!

I would love to post pictures of them, but I am still working with an old-fashioned film camera... so perhaps I can post pictures of them in a few days! :)

Mike is on his way home, and he will probably arrive around 5 am. I really don't know that he will make it to church with us tomorrow morning, but I can hope!

We're supposed to go to Mike's mom's house tomorrow afternoon, so we'll see if I get the chance to finish up my roll of film and get the pictures developed. I may just need to take the girls out in our back yard for a mini photo-shoot to finish it off!